School runnings

Life now, as a school-run Mum is still full of contradictions. Each day can go from disaster to triumph and back again! For want of a better cliché, it’s like a roller-coaster and within a 24 hour period you can experience life-affirming moments of intense joy and delight followed by extreme stress and levels of irritation that make you feel ready to explode or perhaps head-butt the nearest wall.

Being a parent is all the little things that you never saw coming; all those long, dark nights holding a sick child and checking their temperature every 30 seconds, mopping up their snot, sick and the rest! All the worrying you do, soooo much worrying! The daily endeavour to get any form of nutrition in their bellies. It’s logging all the school admin; texts, emails, notifications of this and that; a pound for dress-down day, World book day costume, reading diary, spellings, school trip payments, packed lunches and on and on…the mental load is a lot. It’s keeping everything together whilst being regularly over-stimulated and overwhelmed. I manage for the most part but have the odd burnout day and that’s ok.

I still have anxiety but prepare for it now. I know that on a trip out to the shops or running errands with my daughter in tow, may involve moments of stress or feeling anxious but as long as I’m ready for it, I can manage. It doesn’t take me by surprise anymore. I still struggle with energy levels; keeping up with my daughter’s endless drive and enthusiasm for activity, my memory; getting her to the right place at the right time without letting anyone down. I’m also an incredibly hormonal person and if it’s the wrong time of the month, I can rage like a monster. There is no Dana, only Zuul! Danny and myself both struggle with our patience but if I ever lose my temper with her, I will always make a point of explaining my reasoning and apologise if I’ve blown up unnecessarily. 

I find myself saying…’you can do what you’re told, young lady’ or ‘I won’t ask you again,’ as if reciting lines from an old nostalgic play. 

The idea of Mum Rain or Shine, as a title, came from my acceptance of the balance between good and bad, cuddles and chaos. Some days it’s drama but most days it’s sunny smiles. The split heart design featured in the logo also represents this contrast in fortune. Mum Rain or Shine sort of feels like wedding vows; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. It is a promise to my daughter that whatever life throws at us, good or bad, I will try and be the best parent I can. In contrast to when I first became a mum, it’s now a fundamental part of my identity. 

Whatever has happened in the past and whatever lies ahead, I know that the single most important thing I will ever do is love my daughter.

September 2023